In this chapter, we meet Ravi, a client distressed by his toddler’s resistance to bath time. What starts as a practical parenting issue slowly unfolds into a deeply embedded intergenerational script—one Ravi hadn’t previously questioned.
As practitioners, we’re invited to observe how presenting issues often serve as entry points to deeper, more emotionally significant material. Aruna models a gentle yet incisive approach, using curiosity to unravel layers: the introjected belief systems, internalised family roles, and relational dynamics that shape a client’s behaviour.
This chapter offers a case study in:
The turning point comes when Ravi realises that his desire to avoid upsetting others—especially authority figures—is driving his parenting choices and relational habits. In the therapy room, this same pattern manifests as a subtle wish to please the therapist.
This is a reminder that the therapy space itself is fertile ground for noticing and working with lived relational patterns. The therapeutic alliance can be used not just for support—but as a mirror, a testing ground, and a healing space.
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1. Relational Pattern Mapping: Choose a client who often presents with a ‘surface issue.’ Reflect on how their presenting issue might be connected to underlying relational patterns. Practitioner Podcast-Workbook Journal Prompts
2. Therapist-as-Figure Activity: Over the next week, observe moments where your clients may be relating to you as parent, authority, rescuer, or critic. Choose one session where this felt most alive. Journal about what it revealed and how it might shape your interventions.
1. Reflect on a time when a client seemed eager to please you. How did you notice this? What did it stir in you? How did you respond? What do you think this pattern revealed about the client’s relational history?
2. What unconscious family or cultural beliefs have you carried into your own practice? What ‘musts’ or ‘shoulds’ show up in your sessions? Where might they be supporting, and where might they be limiting your work?